JESSICA BOULTON: 'There's been one showbiz winner this week - and they're not even a celeb'

The week got off to a flying start - quite literally - thanks to Jeff Bezos, Katy Perry and that - now very space flight.

The Roar singer was one a small all-female crew, including Jeff Bezos's girlfriend and Oprah Winfrey's BFF Gayle King, who were chosen for an out-of-this-world ride on the Amazon's founder's very, um, manly-looking rocket on Monday.

As a space geek, it wasn’t the first time I've been more than a little jealous of the superstar that is. She is, after all, married to Orlando Bloom.

But it seemed I was one of the very few who appreciated the Firework star's feat. For Katy Perry's haters didn't just bring her back to earth with a bump after her 10-minute space flight. They practically revelled as her PR stunt crashed and burned.

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She was blasted for kissing the ground when she landed (because it allegedly trivialised the plight of the astronauts trapped for eight months on the International Space Station). Then she was then outrageously accused of because of the badge on her uniform (not only is that farcical, I'm pretty sure she didn't make her own outfit). And then she was then accused of - with several fans vocally slamming her on socials.

So while she might not have seen any little green men in space, but there were plenty of people green with envy down here on planet earth.

It's just the , whose recent single Woman's World entered at just number 47 on the UK charts. So why it is that so many Gen Z-ers seem to have it in for her? Would they have been just as tough, if it was Perry's frenemy Taylor Swift jetting off to the final frontier? Or is Katy still dealing with the fallout from their ancient feud?

Over here in Blightly, the discussion has been less about Katy's optics and more about sending our own stars into space. And Radio One’s Greg James has even got the ball rolling with Sir Richard Branson. So what have they come up with? An all-female Virgin Galactic mission - “00Hun" - captained by .

One doubts the trip will ever get off the ground ....(mainly because Branson was being firmly tongue-in-cheek). But after seeing this bit of snazzy Photoshopping.....

Who knows, give it a decade or so and maybe will be able to venture further afield for its holiday specials. Yes, forget , come 2035, is could be The Only Way Is Mars. Or to give it its obvious full name..... The Only Way Is Mars: Muppets in Space. After all, the isn't exactly short of space cadets. Gemma aside, of course.

S-N- HELL TUESDAY

So much for The UK and US’s “special relationship”. For the States has done something truly rotten and bullish to Brits this week. And I’m not just talking about, which put us on our knees begging for a trade deal. I’m not even talking about using said negotiations to bargain for a repeal of the . (Quite why what we do is any of his right-wing business, is another question).

I’m actually talking about how, in 2025, a roomful of talented American adults could seriously combine their enviable wits, their decades of experience, their privileged right to a freedom of speech and their good fortune of having an incredibly powerful global platform - and all they could come up with was…. A crack about a young woman’s teeth?

Yes, in case we needed a further example of just how toxic the US has become under Trump, Saturday Night Live’s writers decided to: 1. Single out for her trademark smile; 2. Arm a “comedian” with some teeth; And…. 3. Make a cheap(er-than-Wetherspoons) shot about fluoride. (Which, given Aimee’s bright pearly whites, didn’t even make sense.)

So can I say how absolutely flaming delighted I was when the tour de force that is the Stockport-born Sex Education actress to teach her American bullies a lesson?

“The joke was about fluoride. I have big gap teeth, not bad teeth,” . “Yes, take the p**s for sure — that’s what the show is about — but there must be a more nuanced, less cheap way?”

After days of headlines, she finally won an for their “White Potus” sketch - a gesture, which in turn proved two irrefutable truths: 1. Keir Starmer should rope Aimee in to deal with Vance; 2. The title of the sketch should have been spelt with an S.

BAD INFLUENCE? WEDNESDAY

Question: What do Blake Lively, anti-vaxxer Robert F Kennedy Jnr, President Trump and Elon Musk have in common? Clue: I’m not sure Blake’s It Ends With Us co-star Justin Baldoni or, presuming the camera doesn’t lie, her co-star , will be too pleased about it. (see below)

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Yes, they all won a place in the prestigious Time magazine’s list of the World’s 100 Most Influential People on Wednesday. They join the ranks of some perhaps more, um, popular choices - Nobody Wants This’s Kristen Bell, Serena Williams, Ed Sheeran and er, Keir Starmer.

Of course, there is one thing people may have overlooked when questioning how the likes of Elon got name-checked alongside worthy global campaigners and activists. For the award’s about having influence - not how you use it. And there’s no doubt Musk and Trump excel at being a bad influence (mostly on each other).

Speaking of the Space X billionaire, the true reason behind the dad-of-14’s insatiable desire to breed has also been laid bare this week thanks to . She shared one of his texts explaining he was on a mission to have a “legion-level” of kids “before the apocalypse”. Yes, Musk wants to grow a literal army of mini-mes before the apparently-looming end of the world.

Now, is it just me or…. does the pending feel awfully timely all of a sudden?

CRIKEY MIKEY! THURSDAY

Just a month ago seemed like she had it all figured out. She was down-to-earth, humbly talented and rightfully admired - even by , who she beat to the coveted Academy gong.

So how very, very disappointing it was to learn this week that Mikey might be far, far away from the bright new star we hoped. For the 26-year-old actress has made a call so universally bizarre….A decision so truly, truly alien to any movie fan….And a choice so completely unquantifiable…That even would say it’s unwise.

Yup. She TURNED DOWN - wait for it - gulp! - deep breath … - . I repeat, she TURNED. DOWN. .

Yes. Scream 5 and Anora star Mikey was offered the LEAD role in - co-starring no less.

But instead of biting Mickey’s white-gloved hand off, Mikey…. “ passed ”. Yes, PASSED, as if it was just some regular old movie, not one of the most iconic franchises of all time.

Perhaps Gen Z's just spoilt. They have so many greatand movies nowadays, they don't appreciate how special each one is. Can they even fathom the 16-year wait we endured between 1983's Return Of The Jedi and 1999's The Phantom Menace? Or the months spent saving to buy yourself the original trilogy boxset on VHS?

As someone who can, I tell you now: I’d have been all over like a Jawa on a space wreck. Or a stormtrooper with an invite to a white party.

So, I'm sorry to say Mikey....I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Before you walk away completely, perhaps you should ask yourself: May The Remorse be with you?….always ?

GOOD FRIDAY

Lord Sugar has got his next new business partner. So look away now if you’ve yet to catch up…..

Because went for the literal Mr Cool, cheeky chappy , who wants to expand his Essex air conditioning business.

It’s a bit of a surprise win considering tongue-tied Dean got flack for talking about the unstoppable rise of “Climate control” in last week’s interview round. (Not to mention those social media pictures he posted when doing a job in a sex shop….)

But one could argue that the and the person showing true entrepreneurial mastery is actually not Dean, nor his fellow finalist . No, the real genius - and in fact the biggest winner in all of showbiz this week - is Dean’s lucky business partner, (no, not that one), who'll be sharing the £250,000 investment.

Why? Well, look at it this way: poor Dean’s had to spend the past 12 weeks battling in the boardroom and dealing with increasingly infuriating fellow candidates. But lucky Alex gets to enjoy the sweet taste of victory - 100% Sugar-free.

Have you seen a funny celeb slip up or gaffe this week? Message me @JessicaBoulton on X/Instagram or mention in the comments.